photo-1482887972714-9d704c9a695f

You Are Asking the Wrong Question

Mark Twain said: “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” Perhaps, the same is true for the right question and the almost right question.

Questions are doorways into introspection. And through introspection we allow ourselves to listen to the insight we possess but often can’t hear.

Somanaut Gil Hedley, professes “we get smarter not by answering more questions but by asking better questions.”

Simon Sinek on Brene Brown’s podcast (Dare to Lead) said “asking someone whether he or she wants to have kids is the wrong question to ask. The right question to ask is wether he or she wants to RAISE kids.”

The difference between the two questions is just ONE word. Do you want to HAVE versus do you want to RAISE? With just the change of one word, we feel and imagine differently. This difference in feeling and mental imagery is literally magical. The word abracadabra is aramaic for “with my words I create or influence.”

The word “have” implies a finish line. Once we have, we are done. We did it. Now, what…

The word “raise” implies no finish line and invokes a sense of responsibility and change of course and cause of action.

It’s easy to want to have. We learn from a young age the power of temptation and the intrinsic reward of desire and immediate gratification.

Whereas, it’s hard to want to raise and infinitely commit to anything… However, what we truly love, admire, respect, and are inspired by are those that choose to RAISE over HAVE. Raising is different than growing. Raising is improvement, advancement, evolution, and requires reflecting on WHY to inform WHERE, HOW, and what’s next.

So, do you want to have something or raise something? What do you want to raise?

Leave a Comment

Keep reading for insights on learning, performance, and growth.

Get Performance Psychology Insights Sent Weekly

Join the E2E Insights Newsletter for the latest on personal/professional learning, growth, and development from Jared Cohen.