Solid Talk: The use of clear, direct, powerful language to effectively communicate your thoughts about a particular concept or choice.
Soft Talk: The excessive use of softening words to create ambiguity, uncertainty, and avoidance about a particular concept or choice.
Self-Awareness: I have become aware of over using the soft-talk phrase “sort of” and it’s sibling “kind of.” Why might I be over using these phrases? When under pressure, it is my tendency to not commit. Saying “sort of” and “kind of,” in the moment, protect me from putting myself on the hook. My concern for security, thoroughness, and accuracy can undermine my desire to be passionate, convicted, and succinct.
Self-Regulation: I will recognize that by choosing to assert myself verbally or in writing, I have already committed. The opportunity for improvement is to be ALL IN with what I am saying and how I am saying it.
As for the “what i’m saying,” I can be ALL IN like my favorite musicians sing a song or wail in the form of an instrumental solo. The opportunity is to generously get lost in the expression of the art, as opposed to self-editing my art while performing live.
As for the “how,” I can be ALL IN with how compassionate I am toward myself when I end up saying “sort of,” “kind of,” and other versions of soft talk, because it will happen.
As Carl Rogers famously said,
“Once I accept myself as I am, then I am capable of change.”
I am committed to cutting the majority of soft-talk from my communication, but this will only be sustainable if I can accept myself kindly for the times I still use soft-talk. Because with this kindness and compassion, I can effectively reflect on the types of triggers that contribute to the occurrence of the soft-talk. The stronger these reflections, the more aware I will become, and the more capable I will be at self-regulating in a multitude of situations to achieve speaking predominantly with solid talk.